Setting Boundaries Framework

I’ve come to see that there are 4 parts to setting boundaries.

The first thing we need to do is assessment. Make a quick assessment of where they at.

Second, is we need to create a team. Who are the individuals we need to get around the client so they get the best help? And this is one of the biggest learnings I’ve learned in my 20 years as a counsellor.

My good friend, a mentor, Dr. David Lake said to me, “Rocky where’s the army?”

He said to me, “Do you think you can help this child yourself?” and I said “Well you know who else is there? I’m the only counsellor here.” He said to me, “No, that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is where’s the pediatrician? What about the GP and and the like. He said, this is not going to be solved just with you as a counsellor. If the problem is ongoing, what about if it increases in frequency and in duration? These are clear warning signs that we need to get other people around the client so they have the best help.

image
The other problem I see is that sometimes you refer a student and think that it’s all done. That there is nothing else required. However, I still think you have a role to play and that’s the third thing to consider.

You still have a support role and that’s what an accidental counsellor is. They’re seeing an outside psychologist or whatever help they are getting, you could still catch up with them and support them. The mistake is when you become the primary mental health carer to the person in need. Big problems may occur if there is no improvement.  This is why we need the team.

Lastly, it is important to have a contract or a framework on how to work. If you are catching up with the person, consider how long does the meeting go for? Where do you meet? What is it that you discuss? What are off limits? You need to be able to have a framework, a boundary, so that we can operate carefully and productively within our role within a team after making an assessment on whether this is something you should continue. The key question is – are they improving or are they not?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Free Accidental Counsellor
Free Online Event
Study Samurai
Free Online Event
Student Wellbeing Sessions
Free Online Event
Connect and Influence without Burning Out
Accidental Counsellor Training
[gravityform id="138" title="false" description="false" ajax=true]
<div class='gf_browser_unknown gform_wrapper' id='gform_wrapper_138' ><div id='gf_138' class='gform_anchor' tabindex='-1'></div><form method='post' enctype='multipart/form-data' target='gform_ajax_frame_138' id='gform_138' action='/blog/boundaries-model/#gf_138'> <div class='gform_body'><ul id='gform_fields_138' class='gform_fields top_label form_sublabel_below description_below'><li id='field_138_1' class='gfield gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_hidden_label field_description_below hidden_label gfield_visibility_visible gfield-name' ><label class='gfield_label gfield_label_before_complex' >First Name<span class='gfield_required'>*</span></label><div class='ginput_complex ginput_container no_prefix has_first_name no_middle_name no_last_name no_suffix gf_name_has_1 ginput_container_name' id='input_138_1'> <span id='input_138_1_3_container' class='name_first' > <input type='text' name='input_1.3' id='input_138_1_3' value='' aria-label='First name' aria-required="true" aria-invalid="false" placeholder='First Name *'/> <label for='input_138_1_3' class='hidden_sub_label screen-reader-text'>First</label> </span> </div></li><li id='field_138_2' class='gfield gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below field_description_below hidden_label gfield_visibility_visible gfield-email' ><label class='gfield_label' for='input_138_2' >Email<span class='gfield_required'>*</span></label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_email'> <input name='input_2' id='input_138_2' type='text' value='' class='large' placeholder='Email *' aria-required="true" aria-invalid="false" /> </div></li><li id='field_138_3' class='gfield gform_validation_container field_sublabel_below field_description_below gfield_visibility_visible gfield-honeypot' ><label class='gfield_label' for='input_138_3' >Phone</label><div class='ginput_container'><input name='input_3' id='input_138_3' type='text' value='' /></div><div class='gfield_description' id='gfield_description__3'>This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.</div></li> </ul></div> <div class='gform_footer top_label'> <input type='submit' id='gform_submit_button_138' class='gform_button button' value='Sign Up!' onclick='if(window["gf_submitting_138"]){return false;} window["gf_submitting_138"]=true; ' onkeypress='if( event.keyCode == 13 ){ if(window["gf_submitting_138"]){return false;} window["gf_submitting_138"]=true; jQuery("#gform_138").trigger("submit",[true]); }' /> <input type='hidden' name='gform_ajax' value='form_id=138&amp;title=&amp;description=&amp;tabindex=0' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='is_submit_138' value='1' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submit' value='138' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_unique_id' value='' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='state_138' value='WyJbXSIsIjI0ZDQyOWZjNDg3OTk5ODNkODUzNjFkNzdjNDYyMDdhIl0=' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_target_page_number_138' id='gform_target_page_number_138' value='0' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_source_page_number_138' id='gform_source_page_number_138' value='1' /> <input type='hidden' name='gform_field_values' value='' /> </div> </form> </div> <iframe style='display:none;width:0px;height:0px;' src='about:blank' name='gform_ajax_frame_138' id='gform_ajax_frame_138' title='This iframe contains the logic required to handle Ajax powered Gravity Forms.'></iframe> <script type='text/javascript'>jQuery(document).ready(function($){gformInitSpinner( 138, 'https://humanconnections.com.au/wp-content/plugins/gravityforms/images/spinner.gif' );jQuery('#gform_ajax_frame_138').on('load',function(){var contents = jQuery(this).contents().find('*').html();var is_postback = contents.indexOf('GF_AJAX_POSTBACK') >= 0;if(!is_postback){return;}var form_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_wrapper_138');var is_confirmation = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_confirmation_wrapper_138').length > 0;var is_redirect = contents.indexOf('gformRedirect(){') >= 0;var is_form = form_content.length > 0 && ! is_redirect && ! is_confirmation;var mt = parseInt(jQuery('html').css('margin-top'), 10) + parseInt(jQuery('body').css('margin-top'), 10) + 100;if(is_form){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_138').html(form_content.html());if(form_content.hasClass('gform_validation_error')){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_138').addClass('gform_validation_error');} else {jQuery('#gform_wrapper_138').removeClass('gform_validation_error');}setTimeout( function() { /* delay the scroll by 50 milliseconds to fix a bug in chrome */ jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gform_wrapper_138').offset().top - mt); }, 50 );if(window['gformInitDatepicker']) {gformInitDatepicker();}if(window['gformInitPriceFields']) {gformInitPriceFields();}var current_page = jQuery('#gform_source_page_number_138').val();gformInitSpinner( 138, 'https://humanconnections.com.au/wp-content/plugins/gravityforms/images/spinner.gif' );jQuery(document).trigger('gform_page_loaded', [138, current_page]);window['gf_submitting_138'] = false;}else if(!is_redirect){var confirmation_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('.GF_AJAX_POSTBACK').html();if(!confirmation_content){confirmation_content = contents;}setTimeout(function(){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_138').replaceWith(confirmation_content);jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gf_138').offset().top - mt);jQuery(document).trigger('gform_confirmation_loaded', [138]);window['gf_submitting_138'] = false;}, 50);}else{jQuery('#gform_138').append(contents);if(window['gformRedirect']) {gformRedirect();}}jQuery(document).trigger('gform_post_render', [138, current_page]);} );} );</script><script type='text/javascript'> jQuery(document).bind('gform_post_render', function(event, formId, currentPage){if(formId == 138) {if(typeof Placeholders != 'undefined'){ Placeholders.enable(); }} } );jQuery(document).bind('gform_post_conditional_logic', function(event, formId, fields, isInit){} );</script><script type='text/javascript'> jQuery(document).ready(function(){jQuery(document).trigger('gform_post_render', [138, 1]) } ); </script>