Accidental Counsellor Training Newcastle – The Power of Silence

The Power of Silence

I’m here to talk to you about an Accidental Counsellor tip.

I’m filming this tip from the Newcastle venue at the end of Day 1 and we just had the whole group practice in their small groups. They came back and I’ve got some great feedback.

From one teacher, we were talking about silence and how that is an important component when we’re an Accidental counsellor working with people not to continually fill the space. Typically, as Accidental counsellors, we need to ask questions to facilitate and elicit the best solution for the client from them so that we’re not giving the answers and the solutions. I’ve created videos about this and there are other tips. Be sure to check them out here.

The Power of SilenceWe ask questions so the client can reflect and go into their own inner world to come up with their best solutions. Typically, as the Accidental counsellor, we can become quite anxious about solving the problem or fixing it for the client. We don’t allow the client the time, space, and silence to be able to reflect on these questions that we’re asking them. We’ll ask a question, don’t provide the space and fill the space with another question.

One of the teachers here at Newcastle, provided  great feedback for her group,  she told the person that she was in the role of a student and the teacher asked a question. She thought it was a great question and she was thinking about it. She went on to say, “I was just about to answer it.” However, the teacher asked another question and she said, “I just totally lost it and I wasn’t able to focus on that anymore.”

It’s very important to allow people the space to reflect on their own answers and solutions.

I hope that this tip has been a great reminder for those of you here at the Accidental Counsellor Training when you go back and look at the video clip and also for others who have attended the accidental counsellor training. If you are interested in coming to the Accidental Counsellor Training, be sure to go to or email me at [email protected] to find out one of the dates and venues that we are running the training across Australia.

Thank You!

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Newcastle 2013.

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful because I have had similar training a long time ago and it was good to be reminded!

Sharon Everson, Central Coast Rudolf Steiner School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was absolutely fantastic. I had many “light-bulb” moments. It is great to see and practise effective communication. Thank you.

Loretta Wells, Rutherford Technology High School

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it gave me a different view and a clear message of what to do and not to do. Can’t wait to try it!

Blair Newham, Rutherford Technology High School

The true empowerment of the Accidental Counsellor 2-day Training was ‘listening’ to the student/issue. Rocky, you allowed me to see that having the answer is not the answer. The course was well-planned and fluid. As a group, there were many different strengths and ideas. A truly worthwhile professional development.

Liz Stokes, All Saints College – St Joseph’s Lochinvar

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very useful. It provided real world examples and a true student-centered approach.


The Accidental Counsellor Training will allow me to use techniques with students, etc.

Paula Couper-shone, Kotara

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it was relevant and can be implemented immediately.


The Accidental Counsellor Training was 100% useful either by confirmation of current approaches or adding new tools to the toolbox.

Steve Hannon, Maitland Christian School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful because there were lots of tools to add to the toolbox.

Dorota Naszka Ballardie, Floraville Public School

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave lots of practical examples.

Fiona Matthews, Hamilton South Public School

Hi Rocky,
I found the Accidental Counsellor Training extremely helpful. Your techniques and approaches were really valuable. Just some things that I took away from the training:
– Focus on the best outcome for the Student – not what everyone else thinks is best or decides you do with the student.
– Silence is ok – creates space for sharing and opening up.
– Confidence in maintaining professional boundaries and knowing when to refer on.
– Props and imaginative techniques.
-Tapping technique – have used many times now and everyone has reported feeling great.
I have a long way to go in developing my skills – but I feel I am on the right track now.
The other suprising thing is how the techniques have helped me in my personal life. I have been able to help friends and family with their challenges better. The other day I used one of your techniques on my daughter. She is a worryer, has high expectations of herself and doesn’t like to stand out in the crowd. She had given a speech in class where she spoke much faster then the rehearsal. She was ruminating on this. I tried the usual “it doesn’t matter now…you did your best. I am sure you did great”, but she just kept coming back to it throughout the day. I talked to her about the voice in her head going over and over it…..I said how about she took of the imaginary earphones so that she could not hear the voice anymore. She pretended to take them off and smash them to the ground. She walked away smiling with a spring in her step. We heard no more about it. It was very powerful. But it was incredible how easily she understood the concept and went along with the play act.
Thanks and Regards,

Louise Dibbs, Student Welfare Worker

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Newcastle

  • Scone High School
  • Maitland Christian School
  • Central Coast Rudolf Steiner School
  • Biddabah Public School
  • Floraville Public School
  • St James Kotara
  • Hamilton South Public School
  • Hunter River High School
  • Mt View High School
  • All Saints College – St Joseph’s Lochinvar
  • Rutherford Technology HIGH SCHOOL
  • Warners Bay High School
Free Accidental Counsellor
Free Online Event
Student Wellbeing Sessions
Free Online Event
Connect and Influence without Burning Out
Accidental Counsellor Training