7 Accidental Counsellor Tips Connect and Influence Without Burning Out

An Accidental Counsellor Can Be Any School Staff Not Trained As Counsellors But Often Find Themselves in Counselling Situations By Accident.

The problem I see in schools is the usual approach of helping people is not working well, takes a long time and the problem issue continues without improvement. The reason this is happening is because you are time poor and may rush to give advice and come up with the solution or remedy to alleviate the problem the student is presenting to you. When you rush to tell people what to do, their motivation for doing it lessens. Not only that, you are implying that the person you are helping is not capable of coping or finding an answer for themselves. Below I outline 7 tips and principles that help you connect and influence the person you are supporting without burning out.

 

7 Accidental Counsellor Tips

Connect and Influence Without Burning Out

1

 

  1. It’s all about you.

It's All About YOU!

This is all about you. What state are you in? Your mental and emotional state will influence your approach. You can get triggered easily by some of the things you hear at school. You need to focus on your own wellbeing and be aware if you are stressed or anxious. With awareness you can adjust your state. Otherwise you react unconsciously to the triggers around you and this seeps into your responses.

 

  1. It’s all about them.

It's All About Them

Listen to the person, match, mirror and pace their language, thinking and nonverbal communication. You can’t hope to influence a person if they think, “you don’t get me”. Enter their world, communicate and reflect back to them what you are hearing and seeing. You want to “get the yes” – that is when you respond to what they say, the person speaking says “YES! That’s right”! They feel not only understood but also calm and safe. With this trust established they are more open to be influenced the solution focused language and questions you have for them.

 

        3. Influence.

Influence

Avoiding pain is the number one driver of human behaviour. Followed by gaining pleasure. To influence a person you need to focus on pain. Specifically, what it’s like for them when their behaviour or circumstance occurs. This is about the person telling you rather than you telling the person. Ask, “What’s it like for you when (INSERT PROBLEM) happens?” “Is this something you are sick and tired of?” “Is it something you want to change?” Of course it goes without saying that the focus also needs to be on what THEY can do rather than what OTHER people need to do.

 

  1. Get their why.

Get their why

This is critical. Finding personal reasons for change increases motivation for the change. It’s their reason why that has them “own” the change. The usual approach of telling a student the reasons they need to make a change lowers motivation for the change. You need them to convince you.

“So why do you think this important?” “Why would you want to make this better?”

This is the biggest issue I see in “accidental counsellor conversations” in schools. The staff member outlines all the reasons the student needs to change and the student is a passive bystander not owning or being involved in the change required of them.

 

  1. Paint the picture.

Paint the picture

“Constructing a vision of a solution acts as a catalyst for bringing it about.” This “Solutions Focused” approach is an evidenced based technique that helps you influence the person to achieve what they say they want to achieve. When the person tells you they are:

 

  1. Sick and tired of the same thing (PAIN) and
  2. Tell you WHY they want it to change you help them by getting them to
  3. Paint a picture of the change.

 

Ask the person, “How would you like things to be?” Here you need to ensure that the picture is:

  • Within their control
  • Has specific and concrete behaviours (actions)
  • Is in the “presence of something rather than the absence of something”. For example rather than I won’t be stressed and anxious (won’t be is the absence) I will be more relaxed and having fun (is the presence of something) etc.

 

  1. Focus on one thing

Focus on one thing

When the person paints a picture of how they would like things to be there may be several aspects to it. It’s important that you help them focus on ONE THING.

Say something like, “Wow you have told me several things about how you would like things to be for you.” Then reflect back to them what they have told you and ask them if you have understood correctly. When they say yes, ask them, “So which one of these things you have just told me about do you want to start with”?

 

  1. Follow up

Follow up

When the person tells you where they want to start, congratulate them and ask them WHEN they may start. Then let them know that you will follow up with them to see how they went. This acts as a further support and provides some accountability for them.

Accidental Counsellor Skills in Action

A short transcript using some of the skills from the Accidental Counsellor Training (ACT)

Introduction (Part One)

Amy (not real name) is a 19-year-old female who came to counselling at the urging of a friend (who came with her!). The italics indicate the skills from the ACT

R) Hi Amy, I know your not that keen to be here (all laugh) how do you hope this session can be of use to you? (Greeting & goal setting)

A) I don’t know how it would help…I guess I’d be feeling better.

R) If I could wave a magic wand and you were feeling better? What would be different? (Miracle question)

A) I’d have my confidence back. I would feel better about myself.

R) You’d have your confidence back. (Reflective listening) When did you have confidence? (Exception)

A) Up until I was in Year 9 I was confident and happy.

accidental-counsellor-skills-in-action-image

R) You were confident then it went? (Reflective listening)

A) Yeah

R) Where did it go? (Meta question)

A) Comments from my family got to me about being overweight.

R) So on a scale zero being no confidence at all and 10 being full of it! (Laughs) How confident are you now? (Scaling Question)

A) Oh about a 5 or 6

R) Ok so you haven’t lost it all together. How’s that? (Exception)

A) Well, I’ve lost about 30 kilos in the last year.

R) Wow! That’s a massive accomplishment. Congratulations. (Affirming strengths)

A) Thanks

R) What would have to happen for that confidence to get to a 7 or 8? (Strengths question. Creating vision of how things would be…)

A) I would need to lose another 6 kilos

R) So when you lose another 6 kilos you will feel more confident, happy and better about yourself? (reflecting back the goal statement)

A) yes

R) How did you feel good enough about yourself, confident enough to even start losing 30 kilos? (Exception – searching for what she says she wants in her personal history)

A) I didn’t!

R) Really? How could you achieve that feeling bad about yourself and having no confidence? (Matching, reflecting back the implicit communication)

A) Well it wasn’t that bad!

R) What wasn’t that bad? (meta questioning)

A) I guess it got to a point where I had enough and deep down knew I could do it.

R) Ok… so are you telling me that when things are tough you know deep down that you can get through things and achieve big goals? (Matching, reflecting back the implicit communication)

A) Yes, that’s true. I’ve done it a few times.

R) Wow! Tell me about that. How do you do that? (Building on strengths)

A) I guess, sometimes I lose track …and need a reminder (note: did you notice that via the questions she reminded herself!) about how strong I am.

R) Ok that’s great – so you have remembered how strong you are?

A) Yeah

R) Hey…I’m curious – is it just remembering? How do you actually get through tough times and achieve great goals? (Note: I’m persisting in helping her be aware of how she accesses her own resources)

A) I get really determined, and I have to prove it to myself and others. I guess now that I think about it I get angry rather than sad or miserable. No that’s not true, I do get sad, but I get over it – snap out of it I guess and then set my mind to it and it’s almost like I get obsessed by it.

R) Nice! That is what anyone who is very good at something does – get obsessed about how to get better. (Matching, reflective listening, affirming and reframing)

I hope this is of some assistance and reminds you of some of the things we did in the Accidental Counsellor Training.

P.S. the rest of the interview was in this vain – I continued to have her focus on when and how she was able to feel better about herself and more confident and strong.

Finding Exceptions to the Problem

You need many years of practice and the qualification to become an accomplished Counsellor. However, I believe that anyone, regardless of qualifications and training, can become a more effective helper and Accidental Counsellor by learning to apply the basic techniques of Counselling. That’s really what the Accidental Counsellor Training is all about.

The Key part of the Accidental Counsellor Training

The key part of the Accidental Counsellor Training is Solution-focused counselling.

For those of you who have attended the training, you may recall that Solution-focused questions are designed to help people explore their strengths and resources rather than concentrate on their problems or deficits. The questions can help the client identify what their goals or preferred future will look like when they’ve overcome those problems or challenges. It can help the client notice things in their lives that are going well, that they’re doing well or perhaps parts of their goals are already happening.

Finding Exceptions to the Problem

The Key part of Solution-focused counselling

One of the key parts of Solution-focused counselling is helping the client identify exceptions to the problem. You see, very few problems are present all the time. In fact, most problems are only happening occasionally. There are usually a lot of times when the problem is not happening at all or is happening to a lesser degree.

Helping the client notice these times can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed by the problem or challenge and can help identify things that they or others are already doing to help solve the problem or challenge. Here are some examples of some questions that you could ask that could elicit exceptions to the problem.

Question 1: Tell me about times when the problem is less troubling or when it’s not happening at all.

 

Question 2: Tell me about the times when you’re coping a little bit better about the problem. Or, what’s different about the times when the problem’s better?

When things are tough, how do you cope?

Tell me what’s worked in the past, even if it’s only for a short time.

Remember to ask for detail, “What else? Tell me more,” so that they can begin to construct a detailed picture of when the problem or challenge is not as intense or overwhelming.

My name’s Rocky Biasi, this is the Accidental Counsellor training. You can find more at accidentalcounsellor.com and I hope that this has been a great refresher for those of you who’ve attended the training. Bye for now.

Counselling – Active Listening Skills

As an Accidental Counsellor, are you often wondering whether what you’re saying to the client is the right thing or whether you are headed in the right direction?

I’m recording this at the end of the 1st day of the Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo where I’m working with a great group of  School staff.

What is Active listening?

One of the things that I’d like to reflect upon today is this whole concept of being able to do reflective listening or active listening as it may otherwise be known. What we mean by this concept is to be able to pick up what the client is saying and reflect it or mirror it back to them.

How does a speaker know if we listened or understood them?

The whole idea of being able to reflect back and pace the client has a lot to do with that so that the speaker feels heard or understood. They get to hear their inner thoughts out loud reflected back to them and that’s really some of the basic counselling skills that we teach, but we also go a little bit further. Often times, we hear dark, disturbing thoughts and emotions from our clients. As Accidental Counsellors, we can feel quite perturbed or anxious by that. As an example, if someone wants to say to your client,

“I’m hopeless. I’m worthless. Nothing ever works out for me,” we can be tempted to rush in there and to say things like, “You know, you need to believe in yourself. There’s lots of people who think that you are a great person.” And one of the School staff at Dubbo really labeled that perfectly when he said, “It’s false hope or false belief.”

Often times, in my teaching, I say, “We need to be able to enter the conversation in our client’s head.” Let’s not be scared by that. If they say things like, “I’m worthless. I’m no good. Nothing will ever work out. Everyone hates me.” You know, those dark, disturbing thoughts. To be able to say something like this to your client, it must be really difficult for you walking around believing all that stuff about yourself; believing that you’re worthless, believing that you’re no good. Now, people get a little bit worried about this and they think, “Oh no. But if we say that and if we repeat that back, isn’t it going to make things worse for the client?” And I want to say, “No. Look, you’re not saying anything that’s different from what’s already going on in your client’s mind and what they’re already feeling in their body.”

Always Listen First

Being able to reflect that back can be a soothing balm. It can be the antidote to feeling really worked up. Can you imagine someone being able to open up, say to you and reveal to you those deep, dark thoughts? And for you to actually to be able to hear it, understand it and empathize with them around that can be really quite a relief for people. They’re already thinking this often on a daily basis. So, my message to Accidental Counsellors is it’s okay to join those deep, dark thoughts; to be able to go in there and reflect that back and let the client know that you understand

that they’re thinking those deep, dark thoughts. And of course, in our other videos and in the training, we also talk about what I would call the pivot and how to help the client refocus on how they would like life to be. I hope you can look at the other videos I’ve talked about this. My main message for Accidental Counsellors today is…

Your clients are already thinking those things, those deep, dark thoughts. There’s no need to be worried about repeating that back to them. They’re already there.

And, being able to let the speaker know that you understand that those thoughts are there can be quite a relief for them. They finally feel that someone understands that I’ve got these deep, dark thoughts and emotions in my mind and body. Thank you for joining me for this video blog today. To find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training, simply go to accidentalcounsellor.com and I hope to see you at one of the trainings around Australia.

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo 2013

I really appreciated you sharing parts of your life with us. The role plays in the Accidental Counsellor Training helped me realise how effective your methods can be.

Andrew Shannon, Dubbo School of Distance Education

The Accidental Counsellor Training offers practical strategies that can underpin effective communication in the school context.

Janelle Dowton, Dubbo School of Distance Education

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it gave me confidence to approach situations.

Kerrie Chopping, Orange High School

I strongly recommend Rocky to present this Accidental Counsellor Training to the staff – I found it fantastic. I can’t believe what I have
1) confirmed what I am doing is right and
2) what I learned to do in a different and more effective way. Thanks Rocky!

Sharron Lee Bulley, Narromine High School

Thank you Rocky! The Accidental Counsellor Training was definitely a worthwhile course, and wish I could have done it BEFORE I started in my role as Pastoral Care Coordinator. I now have some excellent strategies to take back to my school, to hopefully benefit my students (which is what this is all about!) Will keep in touch and let you know how I go!

Belle Wheaton, St Matthews Catholic School

I liked the reality of the examples. Having a ‘teacher’ background gave the session’s credibility. The Accidental Counsellor Training was a very enjoyable course, well worth attending, worth every cent. Thanks DET for the professional learning funding.

Kim Baker, Kelso High Campus

The Accidental Counsellor workshop has been of great value with practical ideas focussed on people finding their own solutions. Opportunities to practice skills is very useful.

Anne Neville, Anson Street School

The Accidental Counsellor Training reinforced what I am doing already but it is fine-tuning to enhance what I know.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training was fantastic. Thank you. I am really looking forward to applying all I have heard and learnt. Wish me and my kids luck.

Barbara Hughes, Parkes High School

The practical component in the Accidental Counsellor Training made it very easy to understand.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training made me re-evaluate the power of what we say, how we say things to make positive behaviour change.

Erika Mullholland, Walgett High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training definitely has provided me with a new set of skills to deal with students.

Kali Ratu, Walgett High School

I was highly engaged in the Accidental Counsellor Training the whole time. Only relevant information was provided. I feel like I’m going back to my school with a set of tools, skills, and ideas to research and think about. I am really excited about what I can share with others. I am motivate to use this in the classroom, as girls advisor and in my personal life. Thank you for changing my perspectives and listening skills. Thanks.

Anne Glynn, Forbes High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful and entertaining. Thanks!

Belinda Haigh, Dubbo School of Distance Education

The Accidental Counsellor Training was sheer, bloody brilliance; practical, useful, do-able. I can understand why it works.

Allyn Smith, Dubbo School of Distance Education

The Accidental Counsellor Training was really very helpful. The best training I have done in relation to student welfare in 30 years!

Bernadette Wood, Denison College Bathurst High Campus

Hi Rocky,
I just wanted to let you know that yesterday I had the chance to put the Accidental Counsellor training into practice. I have a student who suffers depression and anxiety and is a school refuser. She hates school, hates teachers and is doing no work. No one has been able to get through to her.

We went to visit her yesterday, 3 teachers; 2 spoke with Mum. I spoke with the students. As soon as we turned up, the student made a point of keeping an almost hostile distance. One word answers. Head down, covering her face. Buried in her mobile phone.

After throwing out a little bait to try and get her to just slightly engage in a conversation I managed to sit next to her and give her the opportunity to talk about herself. I joined her conversation. I didn’t challenge anything she said, but rather agreed that it must be awful to be in her situation. She really started changing her attitude and I think was a bit taken aback that i didn’t challenge her or tell her what to do.

I’ll cut this a bit short.

By the end of the conversation she was making eye contact, telling me her future plans (incredible) what she sees herself doing in her life and said (and this is the incredible bit) “I know I’m going to have to start doing my schoolwork”. That was huge. The only things she’d ever said about school previously was how much she hated it and there was no way she was going to do it. Ever. Full Stop.

It was huge. We aren’t fully there yet, but this is the first and only hopeful and positive step towards re-engaging her in her work.

So thanks. It works.

And I NEVER write testimonials. That’s how impressed I am.

Thanks,

Allyn Smith, Teacher – Music & Entertainment | Year 8 Adviser | Dubbo School of Distance Education

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo.

  • Walgett High School
  • Narromine High School
  • Orange High School
  • Forbes High School
  • Dubbo School of Distance Education
  • Nyngan High School
  • St Matthews Catholic School
  • Kelso High Campus
  • Denison College Bathurst High Campus
  • Anson Street School
  • Parkes High

Accidental Counsellor Training Newcastle – The Power of Silence

I’m here to talk to you about an Accidental Counsellor tip.

I’m filming this tip from the Newcastle venue at the end of Day 1 and we just had the whole group practice in their small groups. They came back and I’ve got some great feedback.

From one teacher, we were talking about silence and how that is an important component when we’re an Accidental counsellor working with people not to continually fill the space. Typically, as Accidental counsellors, we need to ask questions to facilitate and elicit the best solution for the client from them so that we’re not giving the answers and the solutions. I’ve created videos about this and there are other tips. Be sure to check them out here.

The Power of SilenceWe ask questions so the client can reflect and go into their own inner world to come up with their best solutions. Typically, as the Accidental counsellor, we can become quite anxious about solving the problem or fixing it for the client. We don’t allow the client the time, space, and silence to be able to reflect on these questions that we’re asking them. We’ll ask a question, don’t provide the space and fill the space with another question.


One of the teachers here at Newcastle, provided  great feedback for her group,  she told the person that she was in the role of a student and the teacher asked a question. She thought it was a great question and she was thinking about it. She went on to say, “I was just about to answer it.” However, the teacher asked another question and she said, “I just totally lost it and I wasn’t able to focus on that anymore.”

It’s very important to allow people the space to reflect on their own answers and solutions.

I hope that this tip has been a great reminder for those of you here at the Accidental Counsellor Training when you go back and look at the video clip and also for others who have attended the accidental counsellor training. If you are interested in coming to the Accidental Counsellor Training, be sure to go to www.accidentalcounsellor.com or email me at info@humanconnections.com.au to find out one of the dates and venues that we are running the training across Australia.

Thank You!

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Newcastle 2013.

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful because I have had similar training a long time ago and it was good to be reminded!

Sharon Everson, Central Coast Rudolf Steiner School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was absolutely fantastic. I had many “light-bulb” moments. It is great to see and practise effective communication. Thank you.

Loretta Wells, Rutherford Technology High School

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it gave me a different view and a clear message of what to do and not to do. Can’t wait to try it!

Blair Newham, Rutherford Technology High School

The true empowerment of the Accidental Counsellor 2-day Training was ‘listening’ to the student/issue. Rocky, you allowed me to see that having the answer is not the answer. The course was well-planned and fluid. As a group, there were many different strengths and ideas. A truly worthwhile professional development.

Liz Stokes, All Saints College – St Joseph’s Lochinvar

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very useful. It provided real world examples and a true student-centered approach.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training will allow me to use techniques with students, etc.

Paula Couper-shone, Kotara

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it was relevant and can be implemented immediately.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training was 100% useful either by confirmation of current approaches or adding new tools to the toolbox.

Steve Hannon, Maitland Christian School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful because there were lots of tools to add to the toolbox.

Dorota Naszka Ballardie, Floraville Public School

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave lots of practical examples.

Fiona Matthews, Hamilton South Public School

Hi Rocky,
I found the Accidental Counsellor Training extremely helpful. Your techniques and approaches were really valuable. Just some things that I took away from the training:
– Focus on the best outcome for the Student – not what everyone else thinks is best or decides you do with the student.
– Silence is ok – creates space for sharing and opening up.
– Confidence in maintaining professional boundaries and knowing when to refer on.
– Props and imaginative techniques.
-Tapping technique – have used many times now and everyone has reported feeling great.
I have a long way to go in developing my skills – but I feel I am on the right track now.
The other suprising thing is how the techniques have helped me in my personal life. I have been able to help friends and family with their challenges better. The other day I used one of your techniques on my daughter. She is a worryer, has high expectations of herself and doesn’t like to stand out in the crowd. She had given a speech in class where she spoke much faster then the rehearsal. She was ruminating on this. I tried the usual “it doesn’t matter now…you did your best. I am sure you did great”, but she just kept coming back to it throughout the day. I talked to her about the voice in her head going over and over it…..I said how about she took of the imaginary earphones so that she could not hear the voice anymore. She pretended to take them off and smash them to the ground. She walked away smiling with a spring in her step. We heard no more about it. It was very powerful. But it was incredible how easily she understood the concept and went along with the play act.
Thanks and Regards,

Louise Dibbs, Student Welfare Worker

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Newcastle

  • Scone High School
  • Maitland Christian School
  • Central Coast Rudolf Steiner School
  • Biddabah Public School
  • Floraville Public School
  • St James Kotara
  • Hamilton South Public School
  • Hunter River High School
  • Mt View High School
  • All Saints College – St Joseph’s Lochinvar
  • Rutherford Technology HIGH SCHOOL
  • Warners Bay High School

How To Overcome Failure

Today, I want to talk to you about Failure.
Failure can create two different worlds. In one world, failure can be used as a fuel or drive to fuel motivation and drive people to achievement and success. In another world and for other people, failure and mistakes can paralyse them. It can create a lot of procrastination and really prevent people from stepping up and being the very best that they can be.

I recall a story from a student that I was teaching and she said to me one day,

“I would rather not try and not put in the effort and fail than really work hard and putting my very best effort and fail.”

In her mind and for a lot of people, that is a justification. It’s a protection for them. They can cope with failure because they can justify in their own mind that they didn’t really work very hard for that.

Reframe Failure

How To Overcome FailureWhat we need to do is we need to reframe failure. What does this mean? It means we have to put a different meaning on it. People who use failure as a motivation and as a fuel or drive to help them achieve their goals and success see failure as information, just that. In many ways, they even welcome it. They see failure, they make a mistake, and they just go…

“Okay, now this is going to give me some information about how I can be better, make adjustments, adapt what I’m doing…”

And so, they welcome it because it helps them to improve and become better. However, for the other group of people that we were talking about that prevents them from being their best, they see failure very differently. For them, failure is personal. It’s an identity. They create an identity out of failure. I often say to people,

“Your results do not equal who you are.”

This is what we need to do now. We need to reframe failure so that we can welcome that when it comes. When it comes to see it as information, it’s a neutral thing. It’s information; not about us but about our approach. It can help adjust our approach rather than we fail and it’s…

“I’m no good.”

“I’m worthless.”

“I’m not smart.”

And it becomes personal.

Well I hope that this tip has been useful and you can use it in your own life and to help with other people. Perhaps you might want to leave a comment about how you’ve been able to use failure as a motivation to help you achieve your goals.

Thank You!

Accidental Counselling Tip – What Creates Change?

I’ve returned home to Sydney from Victoria where I presented the Accidental Counsellor to a wonderful group of school staff in Frankston. One of the cool themes of the Accidental Counsellor Training was based around Solution Focused Brief Therapy which is a strong component in the training.

One of the key principles of Solution Focused Brief Therapy is that we don’t really need to analyse or understand the cores of the problem to try to create change in a behaviour. What’s really more important is to construct a vision of a solution or a future possibility. When we’re working as Accidental Counsellors with our clients, it’s important to have the client experience some of the change and also recognising when the client has already acted differently.


Accidental Counselling Tip There’s a whole range of different questioning techniques, all of them are aimed to do justice and that is to help the client to construct a picture, a vision, a future possibility or a solution, recognising times when they’ve done that and also experiencing those times. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. Rather than asking the client, “Why did you do that?”, or “Why did you think you felt that way or did this?” A lot of the times, those sorts of questions bring the focus back to the problem behaviour.



We need to listen empathetically and then help pivot the client to that future possibility.

Here’s an example of a question that would do that; how would you like things to be. Here are the two questions.

“Why did you do that?” which brings the focus into the past and into the old behaviour.

“How would you like things to be?” which would open up the client to consider future possibilities on how they would like to be.

If you think about it, it’s obvious isn’t it? And that is, how can you possibly make any future change if we don’t know what that would be?

Helping the client focus on the future change with a range of different questioning techniques is one of the core principles of Solution Focused Brief Therapy which is what we teach in the Accidental Counsellor Training.

I hope that this has been a great reminder for those of you who were in Frankston with me and for people who have not attended the Accidental Counsellor Training or you’d like to know more, just go to www.accidentalcounsellor.com and you’ll find a lot more about the venues and the training, and I look forward to seeing you at one of those.

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Frankston 2013

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because it was very informative with excellent framework and application of processes and skills.

Rachel Angel, Erasmus School

Rocky’s style of delivery in the Accidental Counsellor Training was extremely empowering as he explained very sensible and logical approaches to counselling. The booklet provided will be very valuable particularly as a reference back to what we have covered over the two days.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave me lots of good ideas on communicating with students.

Christos Siamas, Victoria University Secondary College

Loved the practical aspects in the Accidental Counsellor Training

Anonymous

The two days in the Accidental Counsellor Training were spent consolidating, affirming and learning practices to do with relationships, communication and counselling. It was not only professionally rewarding – it was about personal development as well. Thanks.

Mary Moore, Rolling Hills Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training had very practical strategies that I know I’ll use. What a brilliant PD! I’m really excited to put these ideas into practice, very informative and helpful.

Alexandra Saffigna, Mater Christi College

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave me lots of ideas about how to speak to students, validate their experiences and start to move towards solutions.

Dianne Howard, Victoria University Secondary College, Deer Park Campus

Thank you Rocky for giving me the inspiration to continue with my future in the well-being career path. The session in the Accidental Counsellor Training has been realistic and extremely helpful for my future with students, staff and parents. Thank you!

Mary-claire Boudreau, Gleneagles Secondary College

A very rewarding workshop because the material and technique in the Accidental Counsellor Training are practical, manageable and realistic. Thank you!

Susan Smith, Erasmus School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was one of the best PD’s I’ve attended. I always judge whether a PD has engaged me by the number of times I look at my watch. I’m happy to say that I did not look at the time once! The 2 days (including the afternoons) were full of clear, practical and engaging ideas and strategies which I will definitely use when I’m back at school. Can’t wait to see the results!

Maryse Manix, Fountain Gate Primary School

I acquired very useful information in the Accidental Counsellor Training. Now I will be able to help the students better.

Maria Chicas, Maranatha Christian School

Great, useful information. Highly relevant to schools. All teachers (in a well-being role or not) should attend the Accidental Counsellor Training.

Alana Singh, Mordialloc College

This experience in the Accidental Counsellor Training was an eye opener seeing how well some basic ideas can change a perspective.

Carolanne O’Brien, Rosebud Secondary College

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training useful especially the role plays and real examples.

Pauline Rahilly, Xavier College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful because I will be able to assist my students.

George Jolly, Frankston High School

What a wonderful opportunity to be part of a great PD. Thank you Rocky for your wisdom, enthusiasm and guidance in the Accidental Counsellor Training. I look forward to applying this back in the school setting.

Anne Phyland, Bacchus March Primary School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Frankston

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Frankston High School
  • Mater Christi College
  • Hampton Park Secondary College
  • Fountain Gate Primary School
  • Rolling Hills Primary School
  • Gleneagles Primary School
  • Maranatha Christian School
  • Mordialloc College
  • Monterey Secondary College
  • Erasmus School
  • Xavier College
  • Victoria University Secondary College
  • Rosebud Secondary College
  • Melton Christian College
  • Bacchus March Primary

Accidental Counsellor Training Mistakes

If you’re an Accidental Counsellor often finding yourself giving people advice and telling them how to fix their problems, watch this video as I discuss the most common mistake Accidental Counsellors make.

The common insight people have when they attend the Accidental Counsellor Training is… “Wow, it’s really hard to get out of the old habit of just giving people advice.”

You might be thinking…

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Isn’t that what an Accidental Counsellor does?”

“Isn’t that what an actual Professional Counsellor does?”

“Why would you go to a Counsellor?”

“Why would you go and speak to someone about your problem?”

Surely, it is to get guidance and advice. However, often times, that’s not the best way to support the client that we’re working with.

Receiving advice and guidance is the common understanding of the counselling process. Here I am in my office where I work in my private practice. I would have some who would walk in and say things like, “Well, I hope you can fix me.” That already begins the one-up power dynamic.  let’s just say the person you’re working with walks away from you feeling better and has made some wonderful changes in their lives that have supported the life that they want, whether it’s at school, work or wherever it is.

The worst thing that could ever happen is that they would credit you for the change. I had clients do this, “You’ve saved our marriage.” It’s really not true. You don’t want the students or clients you’re working with to abdicate their personal power and responsibility, and help put you up in that one-up power position that holds you as the mentor and guru. This is difficult because that’s the common understanding of counsellors. You go to a counsellor and they’ll fix your problem. Even the dictionary says that the counsellor is a person that gives counsel and advice. And yet, research is clearly stating, I’ve seen this over 20 years of counselling work, that the most effective part of counselling therapy is the rapport and the connection that the counsellor or the Accidental counsellor can have with their client. It’s this joining with them.

To be able to let go of your perspective, what you think is right, your moral judgment and to see the world through your client’s eyes, to match them, to provide and to communicate with them an empathetic understanding, can be very difficult. However it does sounds simple.

Accidental Counsellor Training Mistakes

What if the client is talking about things that are abhorent to you that you have little tolerance around. They’re talking about engaging in a lifestyle or whatever the case may be, to be able to see the world and come to an understanding of the other person even though that is very different to how you would see the world, is really a difficult thing. It’s much easier said than done. The concepts of rapport and empathy to mirror back, to match the client as I say, are very easy. What I have noticed at the Accidental Counsellor Training,  after the small group role plays is a common reflection from participants. All of a sudden, people say, “Wow, it’s really hard to get out of that old habit of giving advice.”

 

The problem with advice-giving

What’s the problem with advice-giving? Here’s a case study. Just recently, I was working at a school with a wonderful group of teachers and, of course, all of these concepts made sense and lots of nodding of people’s heads. And yet, when it came time for me to demonstrate some of the concepts that I’m speaking about, we had one


Let me give you one quick example because a lot of this might seem vague. In this situation, the student would say,
“You speak to my mother.” It was a problem with her mother; not enough freedom and her being too domineering. Often times, we might say, “Well that’s a reasonable suggestion or that’s not a bad idea, why not speak to the parent? Let’s see if we can mediate.” Of course, that would be part of a solution. But if you really listen carefully, for instance in this situation with the student, it may not have been the best solution. So I said…teacher come up and take on the role of a 17-year old girl in Year 11. This girl was asking, almost pleading, “What do I do?” I would say things like, “I’m not sure. Let’s talk about this. Maybe together we can work something out.” But I would never want to put myself in that one-up position.

It was a very frustrating and difficult interview where there didn’t seem to be many options or solutions. The more and more I refrain from telling the student what to do, in this case the teacher in the role play, the more and more even the teacher in the role play was able to come up with their best solution. They were able to accept the situation that they were in. They knew that it wouldn’t be too much longer and that they will be able to make a change in the environment that they were living in. But up until now, that was the best thing for them. Now that was very uncomfortable for me and for the people watching because we all wanted for it to be a nicer, happier solution; a happy ending where perhaps their was a resolution to this.

“Well has that happened?”

“Have you ever asked teachers or school counsellors to contact your mother?”

The client said…

“Ah Yes! And it’s just gotten things worse. Mum’s blamed me…”

Instead of racing ahead of the client, we need to work out where they’re at; find out what they’ve already done and not just repeat the old advice that they’ve received that hasn’t worked. If we do they will walk away even more frustrated. We want them to have wins to improve the quality of their life.

The Solution

Our job is to guide them through asking good probing questions and allowing the client to reflect on those questions and come up with their own understanding. This is the fundamental premise of the Accidental Counsellor Training, and that it’s based on Solution Focused Therapy where the critical philosophy is that the client has the answers and the best solutions to the problems in their own context. Our role is to walk with them and journey with them, asking questions, holding the space even during lots of times of anxiety and being uncomfortable. We need to get comfortable with not knowing and uncertainty and with our own anxiety. If we are working super hard in trying to fix a problem, harder than the client, well then whose needs are we responding to?

If we can manage our own anxiety and accept the fact that sometimes this problem is not going to be resolved the way I personally would like it to be resolved. It’s resolved in the best way for the client, through the client’s eyes and context. That allows the client to learn also to be comfortable with uncertainty and doubt, and also have the knowing that they can work through their own issues with guidance and help. Then, they come to their own unique understanding of the solution.

I hope that some of these ideas and concepts resonate with you and are a reminder for those of you who have attended the training. If you are interested in attending an Accidental Counsellor Training, go to www.accidentalcounsellor.com

I look forward to seeing you at one of the trainings around Australia.

Accidental Counsellor Training Sydney – How To Change Negative Thoughts

Early in March this year we presented the very first Accidental Counsellor Training in Sydney for the year 2013. There was a great group of people there that I’ve worked with over the 2 days.

Now, for those of you who attended the training, this is a bit of a refresher and a reminder. As you know, over 2 days, there are many strategies and techniques that we look at. But I want to just talk about one today.

The technique and the strategy I’m referring to is “Negative Thought, Positive Behaviour.”

The aim of this strategy is to interrupt the negative thinking pattern. All too often, as Accidental Counsellors, we would’ve experienced working with people who have negative thoughts and beliefs. When we try to challenge them on that cognitive level, usually we come unstuck. The client will hold on to rigidly their own self-concept and their own belief. What we need to do is we need to interrupt the pattern and one of the ways we talked about doing this in the workshop was by asking people to use their imagination. You’re entitled to have a break, a holiday from this negative thought, you know, and it’s weighing you down as you’re telling me. It’s really affecting you badly. Just imagine, if you were for one day not have that thought bother you and even if it was around, somehow it just didn’t affect you, certainly not as much. How would you be different? For one day, going to school, going to your workplace, being at home with your family if that negative thought and negative belief wasn’t around.I even had students in Year 7 who answered this question beautifully.

“If I wasn’t bothered by that thought I’d be happier. I’d be more confident.”

How to Change Negative Thoughts?

In summary, to create a pattern interruption, we can say to people,

“You’re entitled to have a break from this. I’m just wondering. Use your imagination here, if for one day, this thought wasn’t bothering you as much. How would you be different? What would be different with you in that day?”

Spend a lot of time with that person unpacking with clear detail exactly how they’d be.

I hope this has been a reminder for those of you who have attended the training. And for people who have seen this video and are wondering what the Accidental Counsellor Training is all about. There are some details at the bottom of this video on how you can get in touch with us. Or you could go to accidentalcounsellor.com.

Thank You!

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Sydney 2013

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

The Accidental Counsellor Workshop was fantastic. I noticed Rocky using techniques discussed generally in the workshop which gave me additional ideas about accessing strategies and how to re-phrase and integrate questioning techniques. The reflections and modelling – especially before role-plays, really allowed me to understand the content and then transfer the ideas and strategies to new situations.

Rebecca Fitzgerald, Jamison High School

I was feeling a little out of my depth with some of the issues that students have been bringing to me. Because of the Accidental Counsellor Training, I feel that I have some strategies and approaches, and feel more confident in dealing with these issues.

Melanie Parsonage, Jamison High School

Absolutely loved the Accidental Counsellor Training. It gives a clear goal for helping students begin learning to cope with their situations.

Kirstie Brass, Orana Steiner School

The Accidental Counsellor Training will be useful for ways to talk to people/children in distress.

Rachel Coleman, Epping Boys High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave me new tactics to be able to use with my Year 7 students.

Anonymous

Counselling is a dynamic but daily challenge. The Accidental Counsellor Training has given me enormous confidence to challenge teachers who demand that I use traditional, authoritarian counselling methods. I now will say “No” and be able to really help Anne B and Anne Ross in their roles. The magic wand – the client focus – the empathy was just brilliant. Positive thought – clients coming up with their own solutions do create change. Before this course, I really thought change was really impossible. Band aid solutions will no longer apply to me as a leader of learning.

Melissa Blackwell, St Andrews College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was most definitely useful. It was an informative, enjoyable and confidence-building training with lots of practical questioning skills and ideas to help our students.

Anonymous

The part in the Accidental Counsellor Training where I find useful is discussing and seeing the technique; having options.

Anonymous

It was an excellent training and practical course. The Accidental Counsellor Training helped me understand a process of listening to a client/student and identify what they are really saying. It gave me a good scaffold to not try to fix students but to let them explore how they can fix their issues.

Michael Sugitha, Wyong High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was extremely useful; practical application of theory.

Jane Watson, Orana Steiner School

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training useful. I feel like I now have some constructive processes when interviewing students.

Kelly Armstrong, Orana Steiner School

The Accidental Counsellor Training is practical; lots of strategies. A lot of the content can be used with personal relationships as well.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Workshop provided an invaluable opportunity to collaborate and share ideas with other teachers. Rocky’s delivery of the
course and genuine passion for the content are infectious and I am looking forward to practicing my new skills when I return to school. Thanks so much for a remarkable two days.

Simone McKay, The Jannali High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was excellent and has practical techniques for dealing with student issues from the corridor to the meeting room. A valuable course.

Jacqueline Read, Cheltenham Girls High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training has a good balance of input and practical experiences. Words –> Modelling –> Role-play; user-friendly, useful and practical. It sets our boundaries – what is our job/what are our limitations/what should we be working on.

Cathy Smith, St Monica’s

I learnt a huge amount in the Accidental Counsellor Training about sitting down with students and discussing issues. I now have more confidence when a student wants to talk. I feel like I will be able to help them.

Ros Arnold, Chester Hills High School

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training useful because the context and content are applicable to the school environment as well as background to the human psyche.

Anonymous

The Accidental Counsellor Training was great. It has helped me rethink how I speak with students who are struggling.

Glenn Kayes, Epping Boys High School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Sydney

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Epping Boys High School
  • Cheltenham Girls High School
  • Westfields Sports High School
  • Jamison High School
  • Sydney Boys High School
  • St Andrews College
  • Springwood High School
  • St Andrew’s Cathedral School
  • Chester Hill High School
  • Mitchell High School
  • St Monica’s
  • Orana Steiner School
  • The Hills Sports High School
  • Sydney Technical High School
  • The Jannali High
  • Wyong High School

Accidental Counsellor Training

Hello, My name is Rocky Biasi and I am the director of Human Connections. I have been a Secondary High School Teacher and Year Coordinator for over 10 years. Also, a School Counsellor and in these days, I’m in private practice.

In 2008, I created the Accidental Counsellor Training. The reason I created this training is because I could see that in my time in schools, as a teacher and as a year coordinator with Counselling training school staff, often found themselves in that Accidental Counsellor role, many times with little training around basic counselling skills. The Accidental Counsellor Training is a Solutions Focused Approach that focuses on client’s strengths and possibilities. The Solution Focused approach believes that the client has the solution to their problem and the role of the counsellor or the Accidental Counsellor is to facilitate and to help the client discover that solution for themselves.


Who should attend the Accidental Counsellor Training?

School staff, Community service workers or anyone who really finds themselves in a counselling role but not trained as counsellors.


Here’s what you will learn when you attend the training:
  • How to direct your questioning so the client identifies their own possible solutions.
  • How to listen effectively to help clients clarify their problems.
  • How to assist them in setting goals and to consider new possibilities.
  • How to focus the client positively towards solutions.
  • How to help clients access their own personal resources to assist them to develop positive action plans.
  • How to help clients challenge their negative self-talk and create positive behaviours.

This is some of the content that we will cover during the training:
  • We look at positive psychology on how  we can help students minimise risk factors and enhance well-being.
  • The first morning we also look at the topic of  boundaries, burn-out and self-care. It’s the relationship between the listener and/or the helper and the client that provides the best impetus and influence for healing and we need to be able to make sure we’re in the right state to be able to do that so looking after ourselves, making sure that we set appropriate limits to our care is crucial.
  • Reflective listening and Meta communication is really just mirroring back to the client what  that they’re saying and also focusing on open-ended type questions all too often because we’re in a rush to help the person we’re working with, we could slip into the role of advice-giver. Often times, it’s just important to hold the space, reflect back to the person what the person is actually saying and the person hears their thoughts out aloud reflected back to them. This can provide the impetus for new perspectives. Here’s a very simple example. Often times, if we would look at the school context you might have someone say, “I can’t do this” or “Nobody likes me.”

A meta-question would be “What is it that you can’t do exactly?” Meta-questions help us discover deeper structure communication rather than the surface structure communication.

We also look at challenging negative identity beliefs: I’m not good enough, no one likes me, I’m not smart enough.

These are the negative identity beliefs and what we do is we help the student through a series of 4 to 5 questions, look at the positive behaviour that occurs when they’re not focused on that negative belief, that negative thought. And then, we help the student take action; identify the positive behaviour and implement some of that positive behaviour.

focus on solution-focused brief therapy.

One of the questions in this therapy is called the “Exception question.” All too often,  lots of time is being spent on focusing on why the student is behaving the way they are, why they’re being picked on, why they’re not paying attention, why they’re not turning up to school. Now, this is counter-productive. The focus here is on the unwanted behaviour. We need to pivot on the desired behaviour.

Solution-focused brief therapy has a fundamental philosophy.

“The meer act of  constructing a vision of a solution acts as a catalyst for bringing it about.”

The aim of our conversations with the people we’re working with is to create some sort of picture or vision of what it is that they’ll be doing that’s desirable. We can use the Exception question as an example here. Rather than focusing on the unwanted behaviour, we could just ask questions like:

“Tell me about the times you haven’t been kicked out.”

“Tell me about the times when you have come to school.”

“What was different then?”


There are 3 processes that we engage to learn the skills during the workshop:

The first part is explanation where I explain what the skill and the theory is. I ask one of the participants to do a very short 5-minute roleplay to demonstrate the skill. The crucial part of the training is when the attendees form small groups of three and roleplay and practise the skill and I come around to provide individual and small group coaching.

To find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training, go to

Accidental Counsellor

Email info@humanconnections.com.au

 or Call 0425 365 294

The Accidental Counsellor Training – A Solution Focused Approach

I love traveling around Australia presenting the Accidental Counsellor Training for many reasons, and here’s two:
Firstly, it’s just terrific meeting all the wonderful teachers and other professionals who attend the training working really, really hard to make a difference for the people in their care. It gives me a chance to catch up with family so I have cousins and relatives in Melbourne. It was great to catch up with them when I presented the Accidental Counsellor Training in Melbourne.

The Two-day training is structured in these three ways:

Firstly, I stand in front of the group. I present and teach the concept. Then, I demonstrate the concept when I ask one of the attendees to come to the front and we do role play for 5 minutes. They can take on the role of a student, a parent or any client. Everyone who is at the training gets to see me demonstrate what I’ve just talked about. The best part for me is when everyone teams up in groups of three and I come around. I listen in and do small coaching in those groups of three. The people get to practice and experience the skills. That’s the format of the two-day Accidental Counsellor Training.
Solution Focused Accidental CounsellorSolution Focused Accidental CounsellorSolution Focused Accidental Counsellor

Solution Focused Brief Therapy

The major focus of the Accidental Counsellor Training is Solution Focused Brief Therapy.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy has a focus on the client’s strengths rather than weaknesses. We look for possibilities because, as we know, creating a vision of the solution acts as a catalyst for bringing it about.

During the training, I provide the attendees with different techniques and questions that can help them work with their client so the client can create this possible vision of where they want to go. Here’s an example of how we do that. We might ask something called the Exception question. The Exception question gives hints towards a possible solution. Rather than analysing why a student may not be doing what they should be doing in a classroom, we ask an Exception question looking for times when they have done what they needed to do in the classroom. As an example, the student might come and say,

“I’m always been picked on by the teacher.”

“I’m being kicked out of class and it’s unfair.”

The student can go on with the complaining and blaming. And often times we can get caught, as teachers, in that Accidental Counsellor role that we have often by saying,

“Well, you must’ve done something…”

“You need to take responsibility for your behavior.”

What’s much better is to say to them,

“Tell me about a time when you did go to that class and it worked really well for you.”

“Tell me a time when you went to that class and it was lots better than what you’re telling me about right now.”

“What did you do on that day?”

“What happened next?”

Asking those types of questions, looking for exceptions gets the student or the client that we’re working with to start constructing a vision of a possible solution. Usually, there’s been exceptions to the problem in the past.

I hope that, that has reminded some of you who have attended the Accidental Counsellor training about the exception question and for those of you who were looking to come, you can find out more:

www.accidentalcounsellor.com

More about the dates, the towns of where we may be visiting and presenting the Accidental Counsellor in 2013.

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Melbourne 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

I really enjoyed the Accidental Counsellor Training session as it provided practical strategies, ideas and theories that I could implement and see the value of. It was great to see demonstrations and use role plays to practice each skill. Great friendly atmosphere.

Felicity Stewart, Mordialloc College

Thanks for helping me find clear and positive path in helping our students through the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

Sommer Azzopardi, St John Bosco’s School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was fantastic, practical, encouraging.

Heather Pendergast, St Jude’s Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was informative, practical and full of info I will use. Finally I feel like I have some support.

Bianca Gualtieri, Mount Scopus Memorial College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop is relevant for every staff member. Essential for Year Level Coordinators, Student Support Staff.

Colette Brennan, Newcomb Secondary College

I feel better equipped to speak with troubled students, now I have attended the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop. I have learned that the connection is more important than the technique. Really important and valid!

Ben Riley, Werribee Secondary College

As a classroom teacher the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided some fantastic new skills. Definitely not a waste.

Mardi Shepherd, Frankston High School

Accidental Counsellor Training has given me confidence to work with students to challenge their negative thoughts and how to get them to get to think of their own positive solutions. Recommend this training to anyone who works with students/young people.

Robyn Hough, Shepparton High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was great personal development. Would recommend.

Christine Haasz, Marist-Sion College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was very useful, with practical skills to use.

Tania Anticev, Clonard College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was very useful, it was practical.

Paula Hardy, Clonard College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided good “common sense” strategies and was practical.

Sharyn Uteda, Beaconhills College

Lots of practical information was given at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

Carmel Mithen, St Mary of the Angels School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop has made me more confident to work with students.

Trish Herbstreit, CBC, St Kilda

Other Comments

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop has been useful as I have been in a coordinator position for six years and this has given me the tools to continue to develop.

There were sections of the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop (SFBT) that were good. It was good to get others’ perspectives on things.

I have completed a Masters of Ed in Student Wellbeing with counselling skills subjects. This Accidental Counsellor Training workshop has affirmed my studies.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was relevant, purposeful and achievable.

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Melbourne

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Mordialloc College
  • Werribee Secondary College
  • St Jude’s Primary School
  • Mount Scopus Memorial College
  • St John Bosco’s School
  • Newcomb Secondary College
  • Frankston High School
  • Shepparton High School
  • Marist-Sion College
  • Clonard College
  • CBC, St Kilda
  • Beaconhills College
  • St Mary of the Angels School

How To Influence Defiant Students

How To Influence Defiant Stidents
Here’s a photo of some of the lovely staff that came to the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith, Sydney, New South Wales Australia.

Tips on how to deal with defiant students

School staff find themselves dealing with students that are defiant and who really don’t want to make a change. Here are a couple of quick tips.

The first thing we need to do is to acknowledge the resistance. This sounds very simple but is very difficult to do. Often times, you might be speaking to a student who is skipping class or truanting. To be able to acknowledge the resistance, you can saying something like “You know, I can probably understand that you don’t want to come to school because you really don’t like it.”  A phrasing or statement that acknowledges the student’s resistance really creates rapport and helps us gain trust with the student.

Second, we need to talk about whether the student’s behavior is creating pain for them. This is leverage to help them consider change.  You might want to ask some statements or questions:

“Is what you’re doing working for you?”

“Are you sick and tired of doing this?”

“Is getting in trouble all the time annoying you?”

“Are you sick and tired of getting in trouble all the time?”

These sorts of questions will help us understand whether there is a pain point there for the student and we can use that as leverage to get them to consider change.

A very important principle to consider: When we tell a student or anyone what to do, even if they wanted to do it, the motivation for doing it lowers.  What we need to do, if we’re trying to influence people, is to try to get them to consider the reason why the change may be of benefit to them.  Let’s go back and review:

  • One, we want to acknowledge the resistance; develop rapport.
  • Two, we want to find a pain point; create leverage so the student may consider change or a change in behavior.
  •  Lastly, getting the student to consider why a different behavior would be good for them.  Some  questions like. . .

“Why might you changing be of good benefit to you?”

 “Why do you think coming to school may be good for you?”

I hope these tips are a reminder for those of you who attended the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith and for anyone else who may consider coming along. Thank you!

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

I find the Accidental Counsellor Training to be useful in terms of new strategies or new techniques on how to work with students.

Carol Wallace, Jamison High School

The thinking from the Accidental Counsellor Training seems straightforward. The strategies helped shift my thinking about “helping” students but practicing it is much harder. It’s very easy to see the benefits, though.

Dan Jones, Cherrybrook Techonology High School

The Accidental Counsellor Workshop was great. Rocky was really dynamic and passionate. It was catching. The content was interesting and the strategies were practical. I was given practical strategies of what to do and was reassured that I’m not expected to work miracles. I feel I can go back to school with something I can put into place.

Laura Hodge, Bossley Park High School

I’ve gotten a lot out of the Accidental Counsellor Workshop due to the clear examples and the time to role play situations with students.

Peter Hartman, Cherrybrook Technology High School

What I learned from the Accidental Counsellor Training is the recognition that the student with the problem or issue needs to want to change and own the change. It is not our job to offer a solution. We need to lead them to decide what and why they want to change. A passionate and believable presenter with realistic and practical strategies. It all makes perfect sense. Thank you!

Anonymous

I really believe the Accidental Counsellor Training would be extremely useful for all teachers to attend. It was thoroughly positive and realistic. It had a great mix of video clips, re-enactments, talk, etc.

Colette Hamilton, Menai High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very useful and very applicable to teaching.

Catherine Bargmann, St Clair High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training has provided lots of options of things to try with our students; a different approach to how I usually do things just like getting the students to come up with their own strategies rather than us giving it to them.

Amie Piper, Niland School

You mentioned your wife and daughter so many times. I think having a wonderful, supportive family goes a long way in making a person successful in a “people- helping” job. You’ve been excellent!

Anna Varghese, Model Farms High School

I am so excited to take back and apply what I have learnt over the last two days from the Accidental Counsellor Training. I feel more prepared and equipped to talk to students, meet them where they are at, and challenge and encourage positive behavior. The role plays were so good to be able to think like a student or counsellor and think about people’s perspectives.

Corinne Bessell, Menai High School

There were some great insights I learnt from the Accidental Counsellor Training into seeking information from students.

Richard Harrison, Mount Carmel Catholic High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave me lots of ideas to deal with students and how to make school a happy place.

Norbert Jahn, Niland School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Jamison High School
  • Mitchell High School
  • Bossley Park High School
  • Good Shepherd Primary
  • Kingswood High School
  • Lynwood Park Public School
  • Mount Carmel Catholic High School
  • Niland School
  • Model Farms High School
  • Magdalene Catholic High School
  • Casula Public School
  • Elderslie High
  • Tregear Public School
  • Cherrybrook Technology High School
  • Menai High School
  • Hoxton Park High School
  • St Clair High School

Accidental Counsellor Training Parramatta

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Parramatta 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was awareness raising, offered practical assistance and sound methodology. Thanks.

Christine Gibbins, Colo High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was a very good overall exercise. Never ever knew about these strategies.

Mona Sidhu, Jamison High School

The importance of learning was a feature of the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop that I found useful.

Shirley Hoogewerf, Greystanes High School

This Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided useful information to deal with students in school.

Grace Moodley, Jamison High School

Wow! The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was practical, precise and to the point! I’m prepared!!

David Perfect, Burgmann Anglican School
Other Comments

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop very useful.  Really found the examples used very effective and the overall workshop was great.  Insightful and very practical.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was invaluable – informative and practical.

This Accidental Counsellor Training workshop gave me help and practical strategies to take back to school.  It was most useful being able to talk through questions or problems around the skills.

I found some new ideas at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

The tapping technique introduced at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was a great relaxation technique.  Just may be a different approach or way of dealing with kids.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was a balanced presentation – theory and practice.

I found the Role Plays at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop useful – seeing how to use the technique.

A variety of useful strategies were presented at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

Small group work at the Accidental Counsellor Training Parramatta

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Parramatta

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Ravenswood School For Girls
  • Fairvale High School
  • Model Farms High School
  • Greystanes High School
  • Jamison High School
  • Colo High School
  • Oakhill College
  • Bossley Park High
  • Bomaderry High School
  • Burgmann Anglican School

Accidental Counsellor Training Perth

This was the second time we traveled to Perth Western Australia to present the Accidental Counsellor Training. It’s always a fun time as we catch up with friends and family.

Lunch with family on our last day in Perth presenting the Accidental Counsellor Training
Kaiyen loves visiting her cousins and spending time at the farm

Although the Accidental Counsellor Training is the same across Australia. There are always similar and different themes that emerge from the workshops because attendees bring differing views and experience.

A theme I’d like to reflect on is “who wants the change to occur”.

At the Perth training (along with others) teachers and school staff work very hard to. “get a student to turn up to school”, “stop the student from distracting the class or being rude to teachers” etc.

The Accidental Counsellor Training helps school staff connect, build rapport and trust and use targeted strategies to help influence students. It does not provide strategies and techniques that “will make a student do what they need to do”!

Ultimately, the “client” needs to take responsibility for the change required. As school staff supporting students it can be frustrating and disappointing to know what is required but helpless in “bringing about the change”.

I often experience this in my own private practice. A client was referred to me and in our second session I was hoping to suggest a plan that involved several participants and agencies to help this young man with his severe drug, gambling addiction and OCD. He didn’t turn up for the second session!

A critical aspect or the helping role is to manage our own upset and distress during these times.

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Perth Western Australia 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

Fantastic training Rocky. I have learnt so much at this Accidental Counsellor Training and can’t wait to apply it. Thank you!

Julie Waller, Hudson Park Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training made me feel confident that I’m doing things well, and it also gave me new ideas to use.

Chanel Fenwick, Corpus Christi College

This Accidental Counsellor Training was definitely worthwhile and has upskilled me.

Rae Witham, Dunsborough Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was helpful as effective questioning to find the source of the problem is difficult and time consuming but so necessary.

Allison Stralow, St Hilda’s Anglican School for Girls

The strategies outlined at the Accidental Counsellor Training were great.

Gavin Palmer, Cocos Islands District High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very useful and relevant in a school setting.

Kerrie Montgomery, Chapman Valley Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop gave me tools to use that I did not previously have.

Adam Przytula, Winthrop Baptist College

Other comments

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was useful as it was applicable to real situations with real students.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop made logical sense with strategies which are able to be used easily.

Good practical strategies which can be applied in a variety of situations made the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop very useful.

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop useful as it validated what I already do.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was useful as it gave strategies to deal with students and to give teachers back at school.

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop gave several useful options for counselling.

I found it useful to discuss and review strategies at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

The Accidental Counsellor Training Workshop was extremely useful.

Small Group Work Accidental Counsellor Training Perth

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Perth

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Kearnan College
  • Melville Shs
  • Tuart Hill Primary School
  • Donnybrook Dhs
  • St Stephens School
  • Kelmscott Senior High School
  • St Andrews Grammar
  • St Hilda’s Anglican School For Girls
  • Hudson Park Primary School
  • Balcatta Shs
  • Kensington Primary School
  • Dunsborough Primary
  • Cocos Islands District High School
  • Corpus Christi College
  • Chapman Valley Primary School
  • Kalamunda Senior High School
  • Takari Primary
  • Mandurah Catholic College
  • Winthrop Baptist College
  • St Norbert College

Accidental Counsellor Training Wollongong 2012

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Wollongong 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was well presented and had a good balance of theory and practical content. The workshop has made me consider my ways of counselling and listening to students and how I can refine it and make it more meaningful for the student.

Donna Markham, Wollongong High School of the Performing Arts

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was fantastic. I’ve learnt many wonderful techniques and now have the confidence to implement them.

Wendy O’Malley, Lake Illawarra High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was great! There are a few new techniques that I will take away and use. It was really great that Rocky pours his passion for the subject into his presentations.

Nicole Gonzalez, Albion Park High School

This Accidental Counsellor Training workshop gave me new techniques and re-assured me that I am on the right track.

Pheona Cashman, Kiama High School


After this Accidental Counsellor Training course I feel more confident in what I am doing, even in my parenting.
Jacki Harrison, Kiama High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was useful and fun.  One of the best PD’s I’ve done.
Mitchell Comans, Smith’s Hill High School


Rocky, thank you for telling us your stories at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop. I found the workshop useful because you used real experiences.

Jodie Russell, Kiama High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop presented very practical and effective skills.

Sandra Hogan, St John the Evangelist Nowra

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided great theory – able to put into practice during the course. The Accidental Counsellor workshop was very practical. Can incorporate with my existing knowledge/skills.

Rod Zabell, Smith’s Hill High School

Thank you for your very personable manner at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

John Jakimyszyn, St John’s High School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Wollongong

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Wollongong High School of the Performing Arts
  • Lake Illawarra High School
  • Kiama High School
  • Albion Park High School
  • Smith’s Hill High School
  • St John’s High School
  • St John the Evangelist Nowra

Accidental Counsellor Training Adelaide 2012

Here are some of the testimonials from the Accidental Counsellor Training in Adelaide

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

This Accidental Counsellor Training program has allowed me to re-examine best practices in dealing with conflict and other personal issues.

Bill Trewartha, Rostrevor College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop has enabled me to identify some traps I’m falling into while counselling students. I’m looking forward to implementing these techniques and empowering students to move forward and build resilience.

Suzi Pedler, Torrens Valley Christian School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was thought provoking.

Sally Wilson, Findon High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was a thoroughly enjoyable and engaging two days.My brain is on overload however I’m looking forward to putting my new learning into practice! I’ve been really challenged by all of the content and really wish I did this session three years ago when I was thrown into the counselling role. Thanks.

Carol Davey, Hallett Cove R-12 School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was presented with confidence and enthusiasm. The different questioning styles and different ways to direct conversation were most useful.

Glen Malkin, Rostrevor College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was excellent and allowed plenty of group discussion/sharing and practice.
Argie Buesnel, Blackwood High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided excellent worthwhile training for year level managers.
Robin Parsons, Windsor Gardens Vocational College

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop taught great practical skills and strategies to use with students and staff, and to help develop my own practice. Excellent.
Alan Peat, Underdale High School

At the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop I learnt to look for the positives in everything. Anonymous

Here’s a letter from Sally Wilson about her experience at the Adelaide Accidental Counsellor Course:
Hi Rocky,
I would like to say that I found your training very useful and have had the opportunity to use some of the skills that I encountered on the day. I was amazed at how empowered I felt when I could pull a strategy out of my hat right away and what’s more felt like I had enabled a student to be in control probably for the first time in a while.

FYI it was the scaling question and using the magic question and then helping them paint a picture to find their own strategy. Such a good course it should be mandatory in teacher training.

Regards Sally Wilson.

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Adelaide

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Rostrevor College
  • Torrens Valley Christian School
  • Hallett Cove R-12 School
  • Blackwood High School
  • Findon High School
  • Windsor Gardens Vocational College
  • Underdale High School

Accidental Counsellor Training Albury 2012

On the 25th and 26th of June 2012 I presented the Accidental Counsellor Training in Albury. This has been the third year the family and I travel to Albury for the Accidental Counsellor Training.

This year some of the wonderful attendees informed me about a great play area in Albury called Oddies Creek Adventure Playspace.

We all had a great time there after the first day of the training.

Here are some of the testimonials for the Accidental Counsellor Training in Albury

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

The Accidental Counsellor Training was incredibly useful – it gave me a lot of new ideas and resources for dealing with students. I will definitely start to integrate!

Emma Allen, Corowa High School

Love the Accidental Counsellor Training. The group work was excellent, great skills that I would use.

Graham Booth, Murray High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training helped me realise some of the things I do wrong. It’s not me giving strategies but allowing the students to come up with strategies.

Angela Heale, Kyabram P-12 College

The opportunity of role play at the Accidental Counsellor Training gives valuable experience as the accidental counsellor, and the opportunity to observe is beneficial to defining techniques or possibilities.

Sandy Edgar, Murray High School

I thought I knew a lot – I do now thanks to the Accidental Counsellor Training. The workshop gave me the tools to support what I could do to help.

Andrew Barber, Colac Otway Shire

I found this Accidental Counsellor Training course really informative and useful. It has given me some great strategies to try with my students.

Amy Boylan, Junee High School

Great presentation at the Accidental Counsellor Training. Thanks. The techniques have given me some great information on how to assist my students.
Ken Walkinshaw, Corowa High School

Great at the Accidental Counsellor Training to see how to approach things differently and confidently.
Belinda Chambers, St Francis College

The Accidental Counsellor Training will help improve current skills that I have developed and has helped me come up with new strategies.
Angela Hahn, Intereach

The Accidental Counsellor Training was truly enlightening. I will feel more confident when dealing with students and their issues.
Tracey Puntoriero, St Francis College

This Accidental Counsellor Training was probably the most useful and practical inservice that I have been to. Heaps of strategies and ideas that can be used every day. Something all teachers should go through and something I should have done years ago. Can’t wait to start tapping.

Maurice Woodman, Murray High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training worked looked at the positive approach to problem solving rather than the negatives.

Meredith Mackenzie, Corowa High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful outlining different approach to peers, students, parents, carers.

Toni Moore, Barellan Central School

In 2013 we will return to Albury to present the Accidental Counsellor Training on the 24th and 25th of June.

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Albury

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Corowa High School
  • Murray High School
  • Kyabram P-12 College
  • Colac Otway Shire
  • Junee High School
  • St Francis College
  • Intereach
  • Barellan Central School

Accidental Counsellor Training Canberra 2012

As soon as we pack up after the Albury training on the Tuesday afternoon we start the journey to Canberra.

In 2012, I presented the Accidental Counsellor Training in Canberra on the 28th and 29th of June. I have to say that it is interesting presenting the Accidental Counsellor Training across Australia. I get to meet lots of people and to be honest the different locations and people at the training provide different experiences for me.  Some groups are more quiet than others and some groups ask more questions that others!

The group who attended the Accidental Counsellor Training in 2012 were fantastic!

The whole family loves the Canberra trip. It may be for different reasons. Anna and Kaiyen hit the shops and Kaiyen loves Questacon. I’d have to say that we all like some of the restaurants.

Kaiyen loves visiting Questacon on after the Accidental Counsellor Training Canberra
Visiting Parliament House after the Accidental Counsellor Training in Canberra

For the past two years the Accidental Counsellor Training in Canberra has filled very quickly. So for 2013 we have scheduled two Accidental Counsellor Workshops in Canberra. The first date will be on the 27th and 28th of June and the second Accidental Counsellor Training in Canberra will be on the 25th and 26th of November.

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Canberra 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

Thank you for the suggestions and techniques for dealing with Accidental Counsellor sessions. Some good strategies, particularly with discipline cases.

Jena Shaw, Monaro High School

Really enjoyed the two days at the Accidental Counsellor Training. Will be encouraging our school to line up some training.

Bobbie Dawson, Daramalan College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was a great course – so jam packed with useful information – charismatic, flowing presentation.

Vivian Martin, Canberra Girls’ Grammar School

I really appreciated your calm manner at the Accidental Counsellor Training – nothing was rushed. Plenty of time to cover each topic. You were flexible in your approach and responded to our needs.

Liza Laird, Merici College

Thank you for the two days of training at the Accidental Counsellor Training. I have some practical skills to take away and try, and my interest in the field of psychology is once again fuelled! Now I want to do more! Thanks so much.

Sarahan van Kimmenade, Campbell Primary School

Thank you – I will really try to implement these ideas from the Accidental Counsellor Training.

Colleen Kain, St Mary Mackillop College

This Accidental Counsellor Training course was an excellent workshop that provided a practical and effective ‘solution focused’ way of dealing with student issues. I am looking forward to trying some of these techniques when working with students to make a change to the current situation.

Ben Antoniak, St Mary Mackillop College

I would highly recommend this Accidental Counsellor Training. It provides practical strategies – another way of helping my students (and myself!). Thanks.
Anne Ellis, Canberra Girls’ Grammar School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was a fantastic workshop. Great strategies to use when working with students.  Great to have different ways in working with students to uncover issues.
Emma Whiting, Karabar High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very practical and the situations covered were very authentic.
Julie Schofield, Trinity Christian School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Monaro High School
  • Daramalan College
  • Canberra Girls’ Grammar School
  • Merici College
  • Campbell Primary School
  • St Mary Mackillop College
  • Karabar High School
  • Trinity Christian School

Accidental Counsellor Training Queensland 2012

For the past two years I have presented the Accidental Counsellor Training at Logan Diggers around 20 minutes from Brisbane.

As you can imagine we schedule the Brisbane trip to coincide with the NSW school holidays and we enjoy visiting the theme parks.

Here are some photos of us at the theme parks.

    

 

 

When I have presented the Accidental Counselling Workshops in Brisbane during the past two years many attendees ask if I will present this training further north in Queensland. So I’m happy to announce that in 2013 the Accidental Counsellor Training in Queensland will be on the following dates and locations:

  1. Logan Diggers 11th and 12th July
  2. Rockhampton 29th and 30th of August
  3. Caloundra 24th and 25th of October

 

Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Queensland 2012

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

I found this Accidental Counsellor Training one of the most useful professional developments I have been on. There is so much of this I will take back to my school.

Anita Ramsay, Coomera Anglican College

‘The Accidental Counsellor’ was engaging and very practical. I feel confident I will be able to work with students in a more supportive and effective manner.

Michelle Davidson, Loreto College

This is one of the most useful PD sessions I have ever experienced. As a Year Level Co-ordinator, I am often an ‘Accidental Counsellor’ but instead of “hoping for the best” I now have a practical “bag of tricks” that I am excited about practising.

Claire Stevens, The Gap High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training provided practical strategies to use back at school. Great opportunity to practise in a supportive environment.

Katrina Lyon, Coomera Anglican College

I found the Accidental Counsellor Training relevant to my position/duties.

Tiffany Dixon, St Mary’s Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training gave me a different way of looking at kids and how to deal with them and not force my solutions on them. I could observe Rocky all day.

Robyn Harm, St Joseph’s Primary School

Although challenging, I found this Accidental Counsellor training to be engaging and enjoyable. The workshop gave me new strategies to ask questions without judgement or trying to predict outcome.

Rexina Harding, St Paul’s School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was thoroughly beneficial, enjoyable, knowledgeable and practical. Overall an excellent uplifting two days.

Patricia Trebbin, St Joseph’s College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was useful with practical strategies backed up with sound research.

Paul Staines, Citipointe Christian College

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very helpful. Very engaging, relevant to situations faced at work, dynamic.

Lakshmi Mohan, Clayfield College

The Accidental Counsellor Training helped me construct better meetings with students and parents.

Sharon McHugo, St John’s Anglican College

The Accidental Counsellor Training has provided me with some extra tools and strategies to use with students and parents.

Kelly Allgood, St John’s Anglican College

The group work at the Accidental Counsellor Training gave more opportunity to remember and learn from our own experience how to deal with various scenarios.

Jo Palmer, Emmanuel College

Thank you for facilitating today’s session of the Accidental Counsellor Training in such an interesting and clear manner. I enjoyed how practical the session were and Rocky was so articulate, flexible and his expertise was very helpful.

Helen Heckenberg

I would also like to thank you for the excellent workshop which you provided in Brisbane recently. I have made use of these newly developed skills with my son, my husband and several students at school already. I can honestly say that in the last week, I have used the reflective listening technique everyday, I have asked a scaling question twice and a miracle question once.
In talking to our counsellor, she was very impressed by the array of questioning techniques that are now part of my daily repertoire. I can’t claim to be in control all the time, but it has certainly made a big difference to the way I listen and respond to people’s situations.

Katrina

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Anglican College
  • Loreto College
  • The Gap High School
  • St Mary’s Primary School
  • St Joseph’s Primary School
  • St Paul’s School
  • St Joseph’s College
  • Citipointe Christian College
  • Clayfield College
  • St John’s Anglican College
  • Emmanuel College

Accidental Counsellor Training Coffs Harbour 2012

On our way back from the the Brisbane training we ran the Accidental Counsellor Training at Coffs Harbour.

Why run the Accidental Counsellor Training in Coffs Harbour?

  1. Previously the Accidental Counsellor Training was held in Newcastle and Tweed Heads on the North Coast of NSW. Many people requested something in between.
  2. My sister and her husband and two boys live in Sawtell – a short drive to Coffs Harbour

We loved our stay at Sawtell, catching up with family and walking on the beach in the morning before I presented the workshop.

Here is a photo of the beach on my morning walk.

Here are some of the testimonials from the Accidental Counsellor Training in Coffs Harbour

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

The Accidental Counsellor Training provided great practical strategies – liked the role plays.

Donna Kouwenhoven, Chatham High School

Real solutions to real problems were presented at the Accidental Counsellor Training. Wonderfully presented.

Chris Browne, Coffs Harbour High School

At the Accidental Counsellor Training I learnt better ways to establish empathy and connection with the client through building rapport.

Jacinta Gillespie, South Grafton High School

Thank you for the excellent Accidental Counsellor Training. It has made me think differently. For example, have time for myself so I can help students more effectively.

Anna Carle, South Grafton High School

All the ideas at the Accidental Counsellor Training are highly functional and I don’t feel overwhelmed I just need to readjust my thinking – not easy but not impossible! So thank you very much and I will be helping my colleagues understand what I have learnedover the two days at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop.

Jo Grady, Clarence Valley Anglican School

This Accidental Counsellor Training will guide my counselling sessions in the future. Thank you.

Lisa Schuler-Glase, Camden Haven High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very useful, inspiring.

Rohan Kallmier, Melville High School

Well done Rocky – this Accidental Counsellor Training course was a good all round workshop. I will be able to use some of this stuff myself.

Roxanne Ruprecht, Camden Haven High School

Through doing this Accidental Counsellor Training course I have changed my way of helping students help themselves. As I knew about students owning solutions but didn’t know how to implement. Role Play strategies gave me the opportunity to practice the skills of the course. Very helpful indeed.

Elizabeth Lloyd-James, Camden Haven High School

An amazing leap into the challenging but possibility-filled reality of incidental counselling. Thanks heaps.

Kempsey Adventist School

Great to learn at the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop alternative ways to dealing with issues, rather than just by the textbook and having to follow the rules.

Estelle Foord, Wollumbin High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training presented different ideas, methods, and practical ways of using them.

Greg Moss, Camden Haven High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was great. You can never have enough information / skills to create happier children / parents and teachers in life.

Paula Window, Chillingham Primary School

The Accidental Counsellor Training contained helpful insights and understanding of helping students and how to approach them with more skills. You’ll find it harder to be an effective year advisor without this Accidental Counsellor Training course.

David Jacobs, Westport High School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Penrith

[tboc_button title=”CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE ACCIDENTAL COUNSELLOR TRAINING AND REGISTER ONLINE” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]
  • Chatham High School
  • Coffs Harbour High School
  • South Grafton High School
  • Clarence Valley Anglican School
  • Camden Haven High School
  • Melville High School
  • Kempsey Adventist School
  • Wollumbin High School
  • Chillingham Primary School
  • Westport High School

Accidental Counsellor Training St George Leagues 2012

Here are some of the testimonials from the Accidental Counsellor Training at St George Leagues Club

[tboc_button title=”Click here to find out more about the Accidental Counsellor Training and register online” href=”/accidental-counsellor-training/”]

Unlike many 2 day courses that leave you questioning whether or not you should have taken time out of work to attend, the 2 day Accidental Counsellor course certainly proved to be an exception to this. Rocky, a charismatic and knowledgeable facilitator, managed to really capture the course attendees with his stories and presentation style.

The structure of the 2 days encompassed a myriad of visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic activities and a steady, but focused pace. As a novice in the world of counselling, I found the course particularly helpful. The balance of theory and practice, the incorporation of a range of activities, and the enthusiasm of the facilitator ensured that the experience was memorable for all the right reasons. Thank you Rocky.

Janine Parkinson, MTC Work Solutions

The Accidental Counsellor Training was very worthwhile. Great strategies relevant to my situations.

Kym Ellis, Kogarah High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was an extremely informative and resourceful course.

Kate Mulligan, Concord High School

Since the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop I feel better advised and confident with strategies to apply for my students.

Angelina Bova, GRC Penshurst

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop provided helpful information, presented in a personable way and equipped me with skills to deal with delicate situations for which I have no formal qualifications.

Tania Oxley, Randwick Girls High School

This Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was the most meaningful professional development I have attended in my six years of teaching.

Fay Prevezanos, Fairvale High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was a great teacher training day.

Alex Osborn, Alesco Learning Centre

Since completing the Accidental Counsellor Training I feel more confident in dealing with students as I now know I can help them to deal with their issues.

Hanadi Barsoum, GRC Penshurst

To date, this Accidental Counsellor Training workshop was the most useful course I have taken as a teacher as it is well scaffolded, not overly crammed with statistics and pedagogy that has no real world connection. This was 100% applicable to today’s classroom.
Amanda Hodgson, Sydney Secondary College Balmain Campus

The Accidental Counsellor Training course had practical application of worthwhile and well researched theory.
Karryn Jenkins, Fairvale High School

So glad I attended the Accidental Counsellor Training workshop. It was fantastic!
Paula Stuart, Gymea Technology High School

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in St George Leagues

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  • Kogarah High School
  • GRC Penshurst
  • Randwick Girls High School
  • Fairvale High School
  • Alesco Learning Centre
  • Concord High School
  • Sydney Secondary College Balmain Campus
  • Gymea Technology High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training Dubbo 2012

The Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo is always a favourite time for the family. This year we visited the Dubbo Zoo (which is fantastic)! and the Old Dubbo Gaol. My daughter found it a little spooky though.

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Here are testimonials from attendees at the Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo 2012

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The Accidental Counsellor Training was extremely relevant and practical. A very worthwhile course which I will definitely use in the future.

Karen Parkinson, Dubbo Public School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was excellent and thought provoking. Can’t wait to put into practise!

Diane Simpson, Parkes East Public School

I loved the Accidental Counsellor Training. It was very engaging. Learnt lots of new things. Thank you!

Michelle Wallace, Parkes East Public School

This Accidental Counsellor Training gives you a process to follow and how you ask your questions.

William Ward, Walgett Community College High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training was fantastic. Best workshop I have attended in a long while that all information was relevant.

Marissa Gibbs, Walgett Community College High School

The Accidental Counsellor Training provided me with a direction to go when students tell me the unexpected. Thank you.

Leisa Rowlands, Trundle Central School

Rocky talks from experience and relates to participants. The Accidental Counsellor Training was relevant to what is happening in our schools.

Anthony Le Couteur, Kinross Wolaroi School

These two days at the Accidental Counsellor Training have been informative and applicable to the very situations I find myself in when attempting to assist students. I’ve left with ideas that I’m keen to adopt and utilise.

Philip Worrad, Kinross Wolaroi School

The Accidental Counsellor Training provided great use of examples and in depth responses to questions. I felt like I was interested and concentrating the entire time.

Ashleigh Hiskens, Kinross Wolaroi School

I think this Accidental Counsellor Training should be a course that is run as a compulsory training for all teachers. I learnt a great deal. Thanks Rocky, your workshop has definitely given me many ideas to take back to my school.

Liana Leigo, Dubbo School of Distance Education

Attendees from the following schools joined the Accidental Counsellor Training in Dubbo

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  • Dubbo Public School
  • Parkes East Public School
  • Walgett Community College High School
  • Trundle Central School
  • Kinross Wolaroi School
  • Dubbo School of Distance Education

Connect and Influence without Burning Out
Accidental Counsellor Training